Year 12 parents: How to support your child through exams, results & big decisions

For Year 12 students, the final months of high school can feel like an emotional rollercoaster, with exam pressure, ATAR results, and decisions about the future all piling up. It’s a time of intense focus for students, and equally stressful for parents supporting them.

As your child navigates the challenges of exams with their next steps front of mind – whether that’s further study, vocational training, entering the workforce (or all three!) – as a parent, you play a vital role in helping them stay calm and confident.

We spoke with psychologist Frances Stutterd for practical advice on how to support your child through this high-pressure period and help them make informed decisions about their future. Read on for her top 5 tips.

If you’ve been through Year 12, you know just how stressful and overwhelming it can be. But reminding your child of how tough it was "back in your day" won’t ease their burden. Today’s students face unique challenges, especially when juggling the pressures of exams, results, and making decisions about their future. 

Plus, add in fresh pressures like social media and uncertainty around new technologies like AI, and it's understandable that they would feel like they are going through a totally singular experience.

Psychologist Frances Stutterd explains:

Year 12 is notoriously stressful – and the end of school usually coincides with certain rites of passage. So if they’re out of sorts – that’s to be expected!

Instead of drawing comparisons, try listening first. Acknowledging that what they're going through is hard, without measuring it against your own experience, can go a long way.

Teenagers are often known for shutting out family when things get tough, especially during stressful times like Year 12 exams. They may feel pressured, micromanaged, or misunderstood, as they strive for more independence. Finding a low-pressure way to connect is key to offering them support.

Frances suggests: 

Start a conversation. Offer your own feelings first, for example, ‘I’m feeling a bit stressed about all of this, how about you?’ or, ‘You seem a bit preoccupied, are you okay?’

It’s also essential to spend quality time together away from school-related topics, reinforcing the positive aspects of your relationship. Simple activities like walking the dog or watching TV can take the pressure off and open up the space for meaningful conversations.

Going for a walk together with the dog, shooting hoops, washing the dishes, even watching TV together: activities like these take the spotlight off them and make it easier to chat – about anything.

Frances highlights three types of stress signs to watch for in Year 12 students:

• physical: chest tightness, an upset stomach, a racing heart or fatigue from lack of sleep
• mental: obsessive thinking or catastrophising (dwelling on worst-case scenarios)
• behavioural: avoiding situations, withdrawing from others, or irritability and aggression

If you notice any of these, it may be time to offer extra support from you, someone they trust or a professional. If stress is sticking around or getting in the way of daily life, their GP, school wellbeing team or a youth mental health service like headspace can help.

Piling on expectations or hovering during study time can add to stress rather than ease it. Instead, look for ways to lighten the load. Frances suggests celebrating milestones along the way and encouraging regular breaks, especially time outdoors and away from screens, even if it's just a short walk.

It can also help to look ahead. If uni is on the horizon, it's worth them knowing that study doesn't have to mean juggling multiple subjects at once. If Year 12 is a struggle, they can explore a more focused and supportive approach with the VU Block Model – where uni students study one subject at a time over four weeks, in small, workshop-style classes.

Results day can bring relief, disappointment or a bit of both. Before and after results are released, make sure your child knows their ATAR doesn't define them or their future.

A few things worth knowing:

• preferences aren't set in stone: your child can still change their VTAC preferences after ATARs are released, so they can reorder, add or remove courses once they know their score
• there's more than one way in: if their score isn't what they hoped for, pathways to VU can still lead to their dream course, often with credit for what they've already studied
• an offer can come early: VU Early Entry gives eligible Year 12 students the chance to receive a Conditional Offer* before they sit their exams

*Conditions apply. See the VU Early Entry page for full details.

It’s a common misconception that students should ‘use up’ their ATAR score – applying for the course with the highest ATAR requirement possible.

But the most important question students should ask themselves is, what will I enjoy studying and doing as a career for at least the next few years?

VU Bachelor of Business graduate Emilia Ambrosio admits she initially chose a course just because it used up her ATAR.

Whatever results day brings, your support matters more than any score. Staying calm, keeping the door open and reminding them there's more than one path forward can make all the difference, for them and for you.